We're back........

And I am sick. I have something in my chest that is making me winded just walking across the room. I'm trying to stay medicated, and feel somewhat better throughout the day. Oh well.

Anyway, the trip went.............I hesitate to say that it went well since my sisters and I fought the whole time. I don't know what to say.........anytime anything remotely resembling politics or homosexuality came up, we were off!!!

I regret that I let my sister (the one who lives here and went with me) get to me and bait me (intentionally or not).
I regret that I lack the ability to let people 'be wrong'.
I regret that I dig my heals in and stand my ground ALL of the time; I don't pick my battles well.
I regret that the first time my sisters and I were together since Mother died, we fight the whole time.

I could go into all the details and I'm confidant that most of you would post that you agreed with me and that you would have reacted the same way, but I won't. It doesn't really matter. I have to take responsibility for my part whether they do or not. I did go and apologize and they accepted and even apologized back. We agreed to move forward and not look back on this weekend, but I can't help but see it as lost time.

My sister has decided to move back here to be closer to family ( I guess the fighting didn't deter them too much) and I am ready to forge ahead and develop that relationship with her again. With her, it's easy even though she's very 'not pro-gay', as she puts it. She usually keeps that all to herself. It's only when all three of us are together that problems develop.

I will try with everything that I am to let things go and realize that I cannot change people, but I do love them and have very much missed them being a part of my life and look forward to developing a close-knit family bond again.

As for the trip itself..........it went well. Going out there, our flight was delayed for a couple of hours, so we had to sit in the airport with two very sleepy babies and no strollers. Oy!! The airplane we were supposed to go on had been hit by lightening and was eventually grounded so we were picked up by another plane that was already full, so my sister and I were separated. She took Cylie with her and I had Bella, but then about an hour into it then the man in my row switched with her so we were together again. I didn't know that you could only have 1 lap child per row as each row only has 4 air masks, so the only way we could sit in the same row is if there was an empty seat, which works out best anyway since Cylie can sit in a seat. They were both asleep before we took off.

On the way back, we were all together and wide awake for take-off. I took Cylie on my lap by the window during take-off so she could see. I'm not sure how much she understood, but she got so excited. She kept looking around at everyone, seemingly wondering why they weren't excited. Once we could no longer see the ground well, she looked at me and threw her hands up and said, 'Where'd go?' in that cute little baby voice. It was adorable!!!!!