Ok, here's the deal. As you know, my mother passed away in November. This has not been an easy few months for me, but my grandmother is making it more difficult. This woman treated my mother badly most of her life. She is very selfish and materialistic. She actually took her brothers children to court after he died so she could keep his stuff from them. I do not understand her at all. She is now trying to get back everything she ever gave my mother; some of this stuff is listed in letters from my mother to go to us, like her grandmothers ring and an oil painting of her as a child. My grandmother is bugging my stepfather to give her these things. We've told him to do whatever will make life easier for him; they are just things. He feels that he would be betraying my mother if he didn't comply with her wishes.
Anyway, that all being said, my grandmother has been through a lot. In the past 5 years, she has lost her husband and both of her biological children. One of her adopted sons will not speak to her and the other is very sick, so I may be all she has.
My problem: I can't stand to be around her and then I feel all kinds of guilt for feeling that way. This morning she is having a heart cath done, so she called me a few days ago to say that she was having it done, but she already had someone from her church taking her; she just wanted to let me know. Well, she called again last night and suddenly needs someone to sit with her for 8 hours while she is in recovery and then take her home and possibly spend the night. I told her that I would be there this afternoon and be able to take her home. This morning, my sister calls and tells me that Grandmother called her and told her she was going to have to take a cab home if she couldn't come and get her. WHAT!!???
What is wrong with this woman? And, how do I get past wanting to just ring her neck?
5 comments:
Is grandma possibly starting to experience dementia? It's incredibly frustrating trying to deal with the meanness that can come from a grandparent (or parent or loved one), particularly if it's partly due to dementia or other reasons somewhat beyond their control. Sounds like she has treated others unfairly for a very long time, though. I'm feelin' your pain. My grandma's been a handful for a long time, but dementia has made it much worse. I wish I was physically closer to her, but feel a bit blessed that I'm not. I wish you luck with her. She's made her bed, so to speak. Do what you can, but don't feel guilty about what you can't, physically or emotionally.
I'm sorry your grandmother is being difficult. I can't say that I would know what to do either but I guess the main thing I would try to do is just set limits with her and not expect better behavior. I know, I'm not much help. Good luck and I like the story about the name change.
Hi there! Just wanted to drop in and say hi. Found your blog today and just got all caught up on your archives. It appears we have a lot in common..same politics, same age (I'm 39 too), also TTC (we did try #1 at home just 3 weeks ago and are getting ready for #2 next week). I told my DP I found the perfect blog for her...anyone with a post titled "call for impeachment!" is someone worth reading. We enjoyed the Stephen Colbert duet of the National Anthem too - had never heard that before. My DP lost her mother, long ago but it's still hard for her). I advised her to skip your late November posts as I felt it would be too hard on her. I read them though and was very moved, especially by your brother's last words to your mama. That memory must give you alot of comfort. Anyhow, I wanted to wish you luck on the baby front, with your new business plan and in dealing with the personal/loss issues. Take care.
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