"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhood completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."........quote from 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom
This was the last thing I read before Liz dropped her big news to me the other night. (I haven't finished the book yet, but already highly recommend it) I keep seeing this over and over in my head as we try to work out our plans and try to do the right thing for Bella. There is no way that our decisions won't affect her in some negative ways, but we must and will try to only leave small smudges as we struggle to put her needs ahead of ours.
Today, I feel somewhat better about this turn of life. I am slowly accepting my new reality. I am scared beyond scared of what will be in regards to job and money and living. Liz is 100% supportive of me staying home and will even do what she can to financially help beyond what she might be obligated to do. I appreciate that.
It looks like we are settling on an every other day arrangement. I'm not fond of it, but it's the most fair to every one. Bella is so young and we feel she must see both of us often. We will work hard to make sure her routine and surroundings are similar at both places.
Cylie is another concern of mine. If I do get to stay home and continue daycare, I should still have Cylie every day and will probably have her more on the weekends as it was Liz who put limits on that. I have asked Liz to make sure she takes time for Cylie as well; she will, but probably not overnight.
Anyway, we will get through this and we will still be great, if not best, friends.
5 comments:
is there no way to stay together? the first year of a new baby is the absolutely most difficult. lots of marriages struggle through that year. no way to get back what you had?? i'm so sorry. i'm glad liz is being as decent as it sounds like she has. lesbians are in such precarious situations with their relationships not being recognized by the law. it's sad that you have to be grateful to liz for just doing what a man would be obligated to do.
Wow. Can i get an order of what you have??? The strength!!
I'm just at a loss for what to say here. I'm glad that you are both working towards what would be the best for Bella and Cylie. Also the fact that Liz is willing to help out is good. I wish I had something else to say but know you're in my thoughts.
Thinking of you over here as well. Is there REALLY no way of working through it??!!
I am wishing you the best... as I know this can't be easy. Have you guys considered counseling?
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