Apparently, she has been thinking about and mentally planning this for weeks. We are both taking the day off tomorrow to talk and to see the realtor to put the house on the market. She is wanting to move ahead quickly.
I firmly believe that stress combined with my hormonal issues are behind this. I still believe that we are meant to be together and raise our child together. Maybe if I go along with all of this, and we have some time apart it will work out. I don't know.
We tried for 3 years to get me pregnant only to finally discover a whole multitude of female issues that was preventing that. I still deal with some of them and have no desire for sex. This, with all the stress of losing jobs, starting a business, and having a baby has resulted in us not having sex for well over a year. I can't explain it, it just snuck up on us. I love her and am very much attracted to her, but she doesn't feel that and in turn is no longer attracted to me.
I do not know what I'm going to do. I run a home daycare and I don't think I can support myself on that nevermind do it in a small apartment. I have no degree; I have no real skills; I am a MOM. I never wanted to put Bella in daycare, but it looks like it may be headed there. I hate that!
I hate that everything I ever wanted.....my family, my home, being a stay at home mom....is being taken from me and there's not a thing I can do about it.
As for Bella, she says she will be fair even though she has all the power. I believe her, but I have not been away from Bella for more than a couple of hours since she was born. How am I supposed to suddenly share her and not have for for even a day? The mere thought makes me want to throw up!!!!!
7 comments:
Awe sweetie I am so sorry this is happening to you. We will keep you in our thoughts and pray that she sees things in a different light very soon. You struggled so hard to get to where you are right now. With pieces of your puzzle missing it will be hard to make out the picture.
S and T
I am so sorry. You must be so scared. I've been reading you for a long time, and am just really surprised. I hope you can hang in there. Sending love.
again, i am SO sorry to read this. :( i really hope liz does as she promises and you can continue to be bella's mommy. we are keeping you in our thoughts.
Words can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am.
I'm so sorry. I simply don't know what else to say right now but I hope that things work out well for you somehow.
I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry that you are going through this, and I hope things do work out in the end so that everything goes as nice as it can and that things with Bella are fair. (((hugs)))
I am so sorry. I can totally see where you are coming from. Our sex life diminished greatly after we had Cam. We have many a conversations about the lack of intimacy and feeling disconnected. We always communicate and try even harder to make things work out. Maybe she just needs a little space.
Don't give up on the day care thing. I don't have a big house and I get plenty of kids. If you need to e-mail me you can.
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